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Yes!! That’s what I’m having for tea tonight, no, I’m not eating the popular rock band, Weezer (see video above!), but I thought I would make a Mexican style meal of pork and beans! I love Weezer, they’re a great band… y’know, I don’t really know where I’m going with this… I’m half watching The Simpsons, half eating nachos, with jalapeños and a lime and tequila salsa, whilst half writing this blog post,… although at this point, The Great British Menu is about to start, so now I will be half watching that. I don’t know if that puts me at 2 wholes, or 1 and a half. I did fail maths at school, though… at this point, I’m going to live blog… though.

Righto, that’s the liveblog done… now for some recipe goodness!!

Mexican Pork Shnitzel, with Pinto Bean Chilli

Ingredients :

For the pork shnitzel

  • Pork shoulder steaks
  • Stale bread, crust removed
  • Cumin seeds
  • Coriander seeds
  • Smoked sweet paprika
  • Dried chilli flakes
  • Salt
  • Pepper
  • Plain flour
  • Egg

For the Pinto Bean Chilli

  • 2 tins of Pinto beans
  • 1 large onion
  • Chopped tomatoes
  • Tomato puree
  • Fresh red chilli, chopped finely (seeds removed if you wish)
  • Pickled jalapeños, chopped
  • Chilli powder
  • Ground cumin
  • Smoked sweet paprika
  • Dried coriander
  • Zest and juice of one lime
  • Salt
  • Pepper

Method :

  1. The first thing which needs doing, is to bash out the pork steak so it is thinner (therefore cooks quicker!), do this by laying it between two sheets of cling film and give it a good whack with something heavy. Imagine it’s your enemy’s face.
  2. Leave the pork in a fridge, so that it remains firm.
  3. At this point, begin work on the pinto bean chilli. Finely chop an onion and gently fry in a pan.
  4. Once softened, add the cumin, paprika, and chilli powder and fry out the spices until the fumes catch the back of your throat.
  5. Add the red chilli and jalapeños to the onions and spices.
  6. Add some tomato puree, and mix thoroughly into a paste consistency
  7. Add the chopped tomatoes, and mix through.
  8. Then add the pinto beans, add salt and pepper, and leave to gently simmer.
  9. Blitz the bread in a magimix until it is breadcrumbs.
  10. Gently crush all the spices in a pestle and mortar, and mix through the breadcrumbs.
  11. Dust the steak with flour, and then into an egg wash, and then in the breadcrumbs, making sure it is well coated.
  12. Fry the shnitzel in a little vegetable oil until golden brown and cooked through (remember, pork should never be overcooked!!! it can be slightly translucent in the centre)
  13. Add the zest and juice of the lime to the chilli before serving.

Pork and Beans, Mexican style

Pork and Beans, Mexican style

Look, I even did that cheffy thing, where you cut it in half, and then lay one half on top of the other! Move over Heston!!

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Last night I was looking around the fridge thinking, there’s nowt in. Sure, me and my dad went to the shops earlier that day, but all he bought was cake and bread and fruit juice. My dad is a terrible shopper, he never buys the food required for meals, he just zones in for the cake aisle straight away. This is a house that is never without cake. I don’t even care for cake that much. Anyway, so there I was looking in the fridge thinking, “what the hell am I going to have for tea?”, then suddenly, I saw, a silvery glow. Half a tin’s worth of corned beef, wrapped in foil to keep it fresh. I thought to myself “fuck it, corned beef hash it is”, and last night, I made my best corned beef hash, ever! So it seems only right that I share the recipe.

I’m going to type up this recipe as I did it last night, which served just me. If you want to serve two people, double it up.

Corned Beef Hash

Serves 1 Greedy Pigloid

Ingredients :

  • Half a tin of Corned Beef
  • 2 rashers of smoked bacon
  • 1 medium size potato
  • Tomato Puree
  • Dried Mixed Herbs
  • Cayenne Chilli Powder
  • Cumin
  • Sweet Smoked Paprika
  • 1 egg (for poaching, although if you really like eggs, go for 2, we’re not rationing them any more!)

Method :

  1. Dice the potato into small, bite sized cubes. About 2cm cubed. If you want to take out a ruler, go for it.
  2. Par boil the potato in salted water. Then drain and leave to cool slightly.
  3. Cut the bacon into lardons, and begin to fry in a little vegetable oil.
  4. Dice the corned beef to similar size as the potato.
  5. To the bacon, add a dash of cumin, as much cayenne pepper as you like, and a teaspoon or two of paprika (I go for two, I like paprika)
  6. Add the potato to the frying pan and turn hob down to medium, toss occasionally. I don’t like to stir this, as it tends to turn the hash to a more mushy consistency.
  7. Once the potatoes have taken on a little crispness and colour, add the corned beef, and turn the heat up a little.
  8. Add a dessert spoon of tomato puree and continue to toss. Allow the hash to take on a little crispness from the bottom of the frying pan before tossing each time. The crispy bits are the best.
  9. Whilst cooking the hash, poach an egg. If you don’t know how to do this, I suggest looking at Auntie Delia’s website, here.
  10. Turn the hash out onto the plate, in a mound, make a well in the top of the mound of hash, and put the poached egg into that.

I think corned beef hash goes great with white, buttered bread and tomato sauce. But you can use whatever sauce you like and if you’re feeling particularly healthy, opt for wholemeal, your body is a temple, yeah?

I suggest this is best enjoyed with a glass of Shiraz, or a crisp lager.

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