Bank Holiday Comfort Food

Ahh, Bank Holiday Mondays, eh?! A time for doing the gardening, and watching James Bond films and nursing a hangover… well, I’ve not done any of these. My dad decided to be a massive cliché and do gardening… for a change, but me, did I have a hangover to nurse?, alas not. I think the last time I went out was December last year, and the last time I was hungover?, not a clue. And as for James Bond, I once watched a James Bond film when I was a nipper, didn’t like it, and it’s never appealed to me. It’s a bit macho I think, and I’m far from being macho.

So I spent most of today in bed, and I’ve spent all of today in my PJ’s, surely that’s what bank holidays are for? Lazing about the house?

After being a bit of an accidental vegetarian over the weekend, having a Beetroot and Wild Garlic Risotto on Saturday, and home made Egg Fried Rice last night, I decided I needed to eat an animal, and the options were sausages (with a dubious pork quantity, my dad tends to buy crap sausages), or tinned tuna. So, tinned tuna it was. As I’ve already established, bank holidays are made for lazing about, and comfort food is the best when in this mood, so I knocked up a Tuna Pasta Bake! Hooray!!

Tuna Pasta Bake

Ingredients :

• 1 tin of tuna chunks in oil
• 200g pasta
• 1/2 a pint of milk
• 100g mature cheddar cheese, grated
• handful of chives, chopped finely
• Worcester sauce
• Salt
• Pepper
• 20g butter
• 20g flour
• Grated Parmesan cheese
• handful of crushed Soured Cream and Onion Kettle Chips (optional)

Method :

1. Boil the pasta as to the packet instructions, but cook a few minutes under
2. Make a roux, by gently melting the butter, and then adding the flour to the butter. The molten butter should not be too hot. Beat the roux for a few minutes with a wooden spoon, to cook out the flour.
3. Gradually add the milk to the roux, starting with a little splash to let it down, eventually adding more each time.
4. Allow the white sauce to thicken, and then add salt, pepper and  dash of Worcester sauce to taste.
5. Add the chopped chives and grated cheese, and stir into the sauce.
6. Stir the tuna through the pasta, and then add the cheese and chive sauce.
7. Transfer the tuna pasta bake mixture into a suitable baking dish.
8. Add a handful of crushed kettle chips, crushed for a cheeky bit of crunch, and a grating of Parmesan cheese, and bake for half an hour at around 150 degrees centigrade.

And there we go, for me the real comfort food aspect of this dish is the crushed crisps on the top of the bake!

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Cheese and Onion Pie, and the first blog to come with a safety warning

It’s been a long day for me today… I woke up early this morning, felt ill. Went for a job interview in Kirkham, continued to feel ill. Had to spend an hour waiting for the bus to come home, feeling ill. Begin to cook food for tea tonight, whilst feeling ill.

Safe to say, today was not a day I wanted to cook. That’s the last thing I want to be doing today. I want to curl up in a ball and just nibble on pizza, or turkey dippers… or anything that is just a case of warming up in the oven. But no. The bus driver had to mug me of my remaining money to get to this job interview. £4!!!! FOUR FUCKING POUNDS for a return journey that doesn’t even hit 4 miles each way! So, here I am, feeling rotten, and having to cook something with what store cupboard ingredients I had.

Anyway, I’m going to pre-empt the recipe with a safety warning…

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS RECIPE IF YOU ARE READING IT NOW, AND THINKING “HEY I CAN MAKE THAT TONIGHT”… YOU CAN’T. IT WILL TAKE A FUCKING LIFETIME. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS RECIPE IF YOU HAVE A BACK CONDITION. YOU WILL SPEND A FUCKING LIFETIME HOVERING OVER THE HOB, AND THIS WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE. DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS RECIPE IF YOU ARE PREGNANT, OR PLANNING TO GET PREGNANT WITHIN THE NEXT 24 HOURS, AS YOU WILL PROBABLY GIVE BIRTH BEFORE THE FIRST STAGE IS COMPLETE.

So with all that build up, why is it such a bastard, I hear you say. Well, I’ll explain as the recipe goes along…

Cheese and Onion Pie

Serves 4 generous portions, can feed about 8 though if you want

Ingredients :

• 150g mature cheddar cheese, grated
• 50g parmesan cheese, grated
• 2 medium sized onions, sliced
• 2 medium sized potatoes, sliced as fine as possible
• Milk
• Plain flour
• Salt
• Pepper
• Shortcrust pastry mixture

Method :

1. Begin to caramelise the onions. This will take a good proportion of your life. You need to cook them on the lowest possible light on your hob. For me, it’s taken 1 and a half hours.
2. Whilst the onions are caramelising, make the shortcrust pastry as the packet suggests, but add the grated pamersan to the mix too…if you’re a clever sod, make your pastry from scratch. I’m ill, I’m taking liberties and cheating. Put the pastry in the fridge to cool down once made.
3. Boil the potatoes in some salted water for around 8 minutes, then drain and leave to cool
4. Once the onions have finally caramelised, add a tablespoon of flour to the onions, stir through them, and allow to cook through. Then add milk. This is one of those times when you need to guess how much to add. Just add milk, and stir until it is of a nice sauce consistency.
5. Add the cheese to the onion and milk, and stir until molten. Then add the sliced potatoes, and gently stir into the filling mixture. Leave to cool slightly.
6. Whilst the filling is cooling, roll out the pastry for the base of the pie, and line a pie case/tray/whatever. Prick with a fork, blind bake and blast in the oven for about 10 minutes.
7. When removed from the oven, allow to cool slightly, and add the filling.
8. Roll out the pastry for the lid, and place on top of the pie. Remember to make a few holes for steam to escape from the pie!! If you fancy it, and I do suggest it, give the pie an eggy wash (phrase (c)opyright “The Hairy Bikers”)
9. Bake the pie in the oven for around 30-45 minutes, at 200 degrees Celsius/Gas Mark 6. Or until the pastry is cooked and golden.
10. Serve it up with some Vichy carrots and savoy cabbage.

Unfortunately, I’m not that hungry today, I think I’m going to have a lot of leftover pie, so if anybody wants some pie, feel free to come round mine!!.

Right, off to finish off the cooking…

An update with some pictures, it was tasty!! Got three quarters of the pie left if anybody wants some…

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